10/2 Top Tips To Improve Your Influencing Skills P2

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These suggestions have been proven to be very effective for the majority of people.

However, they could be even more effective if they were refined and optimised to suite your particular situation.

Similarly, if you have a business team would they benefit from knowing more about these skills?

If you think that giving yourself or your business team the benefit of this and other information optimised to your and their particular requirements. Then for an informal chat about what is easily achievable......

6. Impossible people
This is when you have truly put your own ego in the way of a solution. The fact is that you are so irritated or afraid by such a person that you can no longer operate objectively. If you don’t believe this just note the following list:

 What you wanted was probably reasonable.

 The failure by the other person to see this will cause some form of annoyance to you.

 When you get upset your options become limited.

Impossible people are easy to handle when you have plenty of options. Recognising your irritation is the key to implementing this step. Fact, it is difficult to want the best for someone you are irritated at. So if the best options benefit that person, you may not want them to benefit…. Option gets ruled out.

Great Tip.
See that “Impossible person” as someone who is training you to be smarter under difficult circumstances. This works when you do it. You will get smarter.

7. Win-Win solutions
Actually, most of the time, the people you are seeking to influence won’t care too much what your part of the Win-Win is. People are mostly interested in their own part of the win. So it’s really up to you to make sure that you do well out of the deal, etc.

The person you are trying to influence will be primarily concerned with evaluating if a deal is to his or her advantage. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and make it a great deal. Similarly, make sure the deal is good for you.

8. The exception to win-win
Sometimes people want “crap lives” or otherwise like their problems. If you have come up with a great win-win deal and the other person is still not interested. You are probably at the limit of what would be a good deal for you. So don’t get frustrated, try this tip.

Some people get a strange pleasure out of seeing themselves as victims or under achievers, etc. Most people have a relatively rigid sense of identity. If you threaten to steal a negative identity with a “great life changing deal”, what will that person have left? Strangely he or she may not actually know how to function as a “success”. So in practice you have to help that person learn how to live out a more positive existence.

For example.
Perpetual complainers have forgotten how to have positive conversations. Solve this and your influence will be enormous as you will now be seen as a rescuer.
9. Remember to

 Remember people’s names. If you have trouble with this, make notes.

 Casually making useful notes in general can really help you in many situations.

 Always show interest.

 Never ask a direct deal breaking question until you know what the answer will be.

 It’s ok to look upset if you don’t take yourself seriously.

 So don’t get upset if you are going to take it / yourself seriously.

10. Advanced thinking
There is now a new fashion for Advanced Thinking. Strangely, really Advanced Thinking involves not doing much thinking at all. Advanced Thinking is actually based on using your higher awareness. If at any moment you find yourself “working something out” you are not using your Advanced Thinking ability.

When you are using you Advanced Thinking ability you will find that you just “Know answers or solutions”. When it comes to influencing people, if you are obsessed with and pushing yourself to achieve some objective or other you will tend to block your Advanced Thinking ability. Point 5, dealt with keeping your options open. Point 1, dealt with “getting yourself out of the way”. I want you to have the best options at your disposal. Learn more about Advanced Thinking and put it into practice, it will really help you.

So stop pushing yourself. It actually does not work in the long run. When you use your Advanced Thinking skills you become very self aware. You will notice you either do or do not have an energy to do something. If you truly do not have the energy required, then pushing yourself will not be in your best interests. Work with your natural energy to do the right thing. Use your natural Advanced Thinking skills to identify the existing energy you have to solve your problem, pushing yourself should not be required.

For example: Most people want more money. Most people push themselves to get more money and still end up not having enough. Yet needing more money may also be inspiring you to get more skilled at something that will bring you more money without having to push yourself. Use the natural awareness of your Advanced Thinking skills to see this sort of process in action and then ACT DIFFERENTLY.

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